A day in the lab of...

For all of you who think that science labs are a boring place, think again! The lab is a workplace ripe with sexual tension. For starters, yours truly, the resident hot guy of the bio department works there. My buff body and ready wit are a constant distraction to the hapless women who wander in hoping to get their work done. Just the other day I bellowed, "Janine, GET ME A MOTHA F**KIN SANDWHICH!!"

So she didn't quite get me the sandwhich, but she was impressed by my macho commands. That's how you gotta treat these women! Let em' know who's boss!!! So I slapped her!!!

And this is how my day generally proceeds. I'm quite the pimp. But it sometimes works against me. Often, trying to get work done is impossible. It's like those commercials for TAG deodorant. Women leaping in through the windows trying to touch my delts and pecs. I'm too studly.

Something as simple as reaching for a pipette can turn into sexual harassment suit, as my gargantuan biceps brush against an unsuspecting feminina. I guess it has something to do with pheromones or something, cuz that's all it takes for me to be tackled by every woman in the department. This weekend in court is gonna be hell! It ain't easy being the hottest guy in the industry!

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Brace yourselves!!! You've heard Chris' perspective on lab life, now let me tell you how it really goes down. I, the hot girl on the 5th floor (that's right Simon, your title has been usurped), walked into lab today and there was Chris... not wearing any pants, again. He says he finds them constrictive when he's pipetting. I try to get down to my cell counting, when along comes now shirtless Chris (he blames this on some girl in the hall). He's holding a beaker of concentrated acid and telling me some story about how Yoda is 10X more powerful than Darth Vader.

It is impossible to get any work done! I blame this solely on my hotness and know i must be an incredible distraction to the guys in the lab. Just today, I could barely get my work done with Chris begging me to let him cell count... I would have, just to give the poor guy something to do, but his speedo got caught in the centrifuge and he was busy with that for a few hours.

I tell you, it's a gong show. Ghost Dog signing off.

Featuring Guest Blogger Janine (who wishes to keep her identity secret, so we'll just call her Ghost Dog).