Wednesday, November 29, 2006


I have to go on another bus rant. Have I ever mentionned I hate the kids on the bus when I'm coming home? Always cursing and swearing and ignorant. I was on the bus with a friend the other day when some girl was talking about the new Nintendo. I think???

Girl: "You know that game... Where you hunt the ducks??? What's it called?? Duck.... shoot??"

I was arrested for scaring all the children. Upon my release I found myself on the bus again. There was one kid trying to explain some kind of hooliganry he had engaged in this week. He was showing some of his idiot friends something.

Stupid kid: "Yeah... then I showed my friend jerkface and he's like... What the f**k??? And I punched him... and he punched back. And we got into a fight. And the principal shows up.. And he's like... What the f**k?? and everyone hates me..."

But the winner of the stupidest kid I've ever seen in my life, goes to the white kid I saw on the bus today. The kid was wearing the usually baggy clothes associated with rappers on MTV... Let's say he was about 14 years old. The kid was wearing a grill... That foolishness you put on your teeth and the BEST PART... An earring that looked kind of gold. The earring said THUG.... That was the best thing I've ever seen. I wanted to slap the kid in the face just to remind him that he's nothing, certainly not any kind of thug. And then walk off the bus.

Anyway, thanks stupid kid. I know what to get Jen for Christmas. An earring that says THUG. You know you like it!!

Monday, November 20, 2006

"If people would only look to the cookie!!!"

In the interest of freshenning up the new blog, I think I'll post something new. Gregg factor is not about these, Dora Dildos and... butthole pleasures... Dirty Sanchez and the hot carls and the rusty trombone and the hanging brain! It's about racism.

And so it is my duty to write about Kramer going on that racist rant the other day. For those of you who hadn't seen it, Kramer from Seinfeld started yelling at a bunch of black guys who heckled him at a comedy show the other day.

It's pretty awesome when you think about it. I admire the guy. Not too many people would have the balls to go up on stage in front of an audience, apparently with several black guys and say what he said. The most offensive part of all of this is his apology on David Letterman. He says, "The worst part of all of this is I'm not a racist."


Ummm... Once you say that once upon a time black people would have been hung upside down with a fork stuck in their ass for interrupting a white man, you're at least a little racist, no? I think at that point you just have to flaunt your racism. Embrace it. He should have gone on Letterman saying, "I regret nothing... This is my position and I stand by it. Black people who heckle white people should be lynched! I'm Michael Richards; Racist."

It's pretty sad when you realize that on Seinfeld he was the open minded character. He had the black lawyer, the black girlfriend in one episode. Imagine all those black people now who had shared a scene with him.

You know, the best thing he could have done is pretended he was on drugs or something the next day and go into rehad. "I was just going through some thangs, that's all!" Lay low from a little while and then emerge and all these problems would go away.

Meanwhile, Rosie Odonnel is "defending" Clay Aiken?!? Apparently he was co-hosting Regis and Kelly with Kelly. And during the show while Kelly was talking Clay Aiken put his hand over her mouth and Kelly didn't like that and said so on the air. Rosie Odonnel is "sticking to her guns" claiming Kelly Ripa's reaction to Clay Aiken putting his hand over her mouth was homophobic.

People are so afraid of hatred. Racism, homophobia (fear of... one?) and I think the reason is really that it's human nature to be prejudice. When we see it in other people we want to deny as much as possible that it exists in ourselves. The fact that Michael Richards said he's not a racist is HILARIOUS to me. And the fact that Rosie Odonnel said Kelly Ripa is a "homophobe" cuz she didn't appreciate Clay Aiken clasping his filthy hands over her mouth is equally HILARIOUS.

People are in denial. God bless Kramer for his hateful, cathartic racist explosion. It's kind of sickenning, but it's kind of a reality check when people just go nuts like that. Shows us what's inside just how bad people can be deep down. I mean sometimes people let the N-word slip, but he went on an all out hateful rant!!! CRAZY!!! Did you see some of the audience? Sure most people were horrified but Some people not sure if they should keep laughing. "Hanging black people?? Kramer's right! We were all thinking it!!! LET'S DO THIS!!"

And a pox on Rosie Odonnel for trivializing prejudice by pointing a finger at someone for not wanting to be molested by some random dude, who hapenned to be gay. I think the only suitable punishment for Rosie Odonnel having the balls to exist, is to have her cloned, so that the clone can make sexual advances on Rosie Odonnel. Then they'll be forced to have a relationship and listen to themselves talk so they can realize just how vile they are. Oh yeah, and she'll have to have sex with herself. That's the only way she'll learn. I can just see her in the shower after the experience, "Wow... That was really disgusting... and annoying."

I really don't like her... NOT cuz she's a lesbian. I love Ellen. I have loved Ellen. She's so sweet. Some of my best friends are lesbians, really.


I don't know any lesbians... Alright, that was in poor taste... But the worst part of this is, I'm not a homophobe!!!

*Vrej, I really don't know how many D's are in Rosie Odonnel but I"m sure you'll tell me if I've mispelled it. I refuse to look it up. But whether the name takes double D's, or C's... Quite frankly I like to think of Rosie Odonnel's breasts as little as possible..*

Monday, November 06, 2006


I knew it would happen someday... I was going to just post it as a message but I think it's worthy of an entire post. I got home from work late and saw the janitor waiting in the lobby. The usual type of conversation ensues.

Janitor: Hey, I was just at your apartment I wanted to give back your movies!
Me: Cool, it's no rush.
Janitor: Have you seen Mission Impossible 3?
Me: Yes?
Janitor: Have you seen that movie... ummm... little man???
Me: No but... that REALLY doesn't interest me...
Janitor: Have you seen... oh... horror movie...?
Me: :-
Janitor: Mmm... What about Prono??? Do you like Prono??"
Me: What???
Janitor: Prono... I burn Prono DVD's for my friend.."
Me: Pro.... OOOOOHHH... Prono... As in Pronography. No thanks, I don't want any prono...

I was afraid he would start offering me pronography. From the moment he started offering me movies I knew prono would come up. Of course, it's for his friend. I'm sure he doesn't watch any pronography .

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Moi, c'est le ghetto dans mon jacques cartier

It's been over a year since I've been living on my own. The conditions have been steadily deteriorating since new management took over. The last straw for me was the lack of heat on several occasions. So I called the building manager, yelled at him and sent a registered letter. Not more than a week afterward, the manager was fired and the old janitors were replaced.

Too good to be true? Of course... I rejoiced on Saturday when gales of heat fountained out of the radiators. I was pleased when some... random... old guy came to my apartment to make sure the heat was working. But I was somewhat confused with why the janitor was there. The janitor is an Indian guy, pleasant enough with a typical indian accent. He's probably about 30 years old. He usually smells of cigarette smoke.

So the random old guy checks the radiators and approves. The janitor is suddenly looking at my movie collection. "You like movies?" he asks... I respond that I do. He then starts reading titles. "I love movies... My entire storage space is filled with movies... Anytime you need anything just let me know... Have you seen that movie... The Inner... Man... Insider? Man.. With ..."

Anyway, he goes on about his creepy movie obsession and then leaves. Later that evening, the doorbell rings. Someone shows up at the door in a Domino's Pizza uniform. I didn't order any pizza. I open the door, not recognizing the goofy guy at first. Of course it's the janitor, allegedly here to check the radiator again. sigh... He busts in and finally asks what he's been dying to ask me all along. He wants to borrow movies. Damn... it begins...

He borrows Anchorman and Bad Boys 2. Fine whatever.

Today is November 1st. He wants the rent of course. I see him in the hallway bringing a couch downstairs he tells me he'll be up in 20 minutes to get the rent. He shows up at the door, I have the check ready. I intend to just give him the check and go back to my business. He returns anchorman and bad boys 2. But the poor janitor is now thirsty.

Janitor: "Hey... do you have a glass of water?"
Me: "Actually I..."

By the time I turn around he's already perusing my movie collection again. At least he takes off his shoes. I hand him a glass of water (a glass which will be discarded).

Janitor: "Do you like Blade movies??"

Oh no... Not blade... My favourite vampire hunter... My hero.

Me: "Yeah, I love them... Not so much the 3rd one but it was still good."
Janitor: "Could I borrow Charlie's Angels and Blade 1 and 2 and 3."
Me (scandalized): "How about you try borrowing 2 at a time for starters."
Janitor: "Okay, Charlie's Angels and Blade 1 and 2. I'll bring them back tomorrow."

I"m thinking that's still 3 movies. But whatever... He brought back the last movies and I really just want him to get the hell out. "Fine, fine..." Then he starts offering me stuff, "Do you need a clothes umm... cupboard? Some night tables?"

Me: "Ummm... I... don't... know..."
Janitor: "Do you need mission impossible 3? 5$!!! I get hooked up because I run a video blablablablabla..."

5$ for mission impossible 3?? How about 0$ and you get out??? What the hell is going on here? When did this man become a part of my life?? I thanked him for his generosity and ushered him out of the house. But here's what really bothered me.

1) He's borrowing my movies
2) He's burning them and running some illegal movie piracy business
3) He has the brass balls to charge me 5$ for a pirated movie???

It is official. This building is now the archetype for all things ghetto. I really want this to end. The rent is good though. The apartment is nice. It's hard to give up. But... it just feels so wrong to be part of this guy's little movie piracy hustle. Especially since he's not giving me a cut. What do I do? Confront him? Or just wait until he has gone through my entire movie collection so he'll lose interest in me? What a bother...