Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Facebook Woes

Facebook can be a dangerous place. I added an application the other day. Buy and sell your friends. It seemed harmless enough. Actually I guess it didn't. I was reluctant at first, but eventually decided, "What could possibly go wrong?" Seemed like a fun idea, you could barter your friends for virtual money. Shortly after adding it, I lost interest in it and it was forgotten with all the other unused Facebook applications that make their way to the bottom of my page.

One morning I received email notification that I had been bought for 561$! That seemed like good enough news. Which one of my friends thought I would be a worthy purchase? Hopefully a good looking lady, maybe Jen who has a history of adorning my wall with virtual tokens of her affection.

Alas, my buyer was none other than Travis Moon. Who the bloody hell is Travis Moon, you may be asking? That's what I asked. I went to the profile of this person, and their profile picture was that of some anime character. It may have been sailor moon. But at the time it didn't concern me. What did concern me was the individual in question, a stranger interested in anime, was interested in both females AND males. Some random gay guy bought me!!! For 561 virtual dollars no less!

Of all the lousy luck. Not that I'm homophobic or anything. Gay people just scare me is all. You might say I have a phobia of homosexuals. (I kid, I kid. Some of my best friends are gay! (shout out to all my gay peeps!!! Simon Bourque HOLLA!! (I kid again))).

But this facebook incident is totally innapropriate! And somewhat insulting. 561 dollars? I'm worth at least 5K. What if I were to go online and virtually buy some random woman cuz I thought she was hot? I'd be a stalker and a pervert and this ,that and the other! I wouldn't be able to get away with purchasing hot woman strangers! Why should gay men have that prividledge? It's a total double standard. The application should have come with a warning. "Warning: You could be purchased by a man interested in having carnal relations with other men."

Needless to say I removed the application immediately, but the question still remains. How many people are out there on facebook getting an eyefull of MastaCSG? And what are their intentions? And if their intentions are unwholesome, is it really so much to ask that I get purchased by Zoe Saldana? Or Jessic.. Jen Lee? Oh, the internet. Where else could I be subjected to such a bizarre situation? Aside from prison.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Lying using Body Language

I ran a little experiment the other day at the bus stop. I noticed across the street that there's a little girl who waits in her apartment building until the bus comes. But she really comes out at the exact second that the bus comes. Knowing that this bus isn't necessarily a bus that comes the exact minute that it's supposed to I wondered to myself how it is that she knows exactly when to walk out of her apartment building, since she is unable to see the bus coming.

There was only one possible way she could do this. She must actually observe the body language of the people, ie me, waiting at the bus stop. When we begin to shuffle around and get our bags together she knows it's time to catch the bus. Smart kid. While we're freezing our butts off, she's inside warm, safe and comfortable.

So I tested my theory. One day I was the only one at the bus stop. And yes, she had been waiting inside for about 5 minutes. I was waiting with my hands crossed in front of me. I saw the bus coming and thought to myself, "Play it cool Chris. Don't flinch a muscle." The bus drew nearer and nearer, the girl apparently oblivious to its approach. A few seconds before it reached the stop I grabbed my bag and got on. The girl then ran outside, but alas it was too late. The bus driver, like all bus drivers did not have pity on the young lady, despite the rather cold weather. Though she looked at the man with despair in her eyes, he had no intention of missing this green light. She kind of pulled herself together and acted like it didn't matter, salvaging a few shreds of dignity from the completely avoidable situation. We drove off, and she was left there.

Another giant leap for science. Hypothesis confirmed. This morning, I saw her at the bus stop, bright and early OUTSIDE of her building with the rest of the scum. At least the weather was nice.