Friday, February 16, 2007

Bible Thumping

I remember seeing this clip a while ago. There are a bunch of children at a Christian Camp and a somewhat psychotic woman is brainwashing them into believing that Harry Potter is evil.

Wow... Someone show me where it says that children who study at Hogwarts are to be put to death? She didn't even quote the bible once. Now that's power. Just mention God somewhere and you have an argument for anything. Just last week a co-worker of mine was trying to explain why people in the states believe it is wrong to have sex for reasons other than procreation.

Here's a gross embelishment of his rant: "Yeah... Having sex for reasons other than giving birth is wrong. Aren't you familiar with that story in the bible, where God's like, 'Don't have sex unless you want kids.' And the guy's like, 'I just want to get off'. And so the guy does his wife from behind and pulls out before he climaxes. So God strikes him down... Or created AIDS... I can't remember."

I wasn't familiar with that story obviously. But it just goes to show you that people can use the Bible can be used to prove any ridiculous point even using stories that don't exist. Take the story of David and Goliath. The champion of the Israelites decides to face Goliath (who is a giant apparently) for supreme rulership of the universe.... Or Israel or Judah I can't remember which kingdom. Anyway, just when they're about to start fighting, David hurls a rock into Goliath's face and Goliath is killed. David becomes a king and goes on to murder a man to steal his wife. Read the Bible. David's kind of a jerk but we're tought to empathize with him.

He faces off with Goliath for a battle to the death and when Goliath pulls out his sword ready for a fair fight, David slingshots a rock into his eye. Is it just me or is that cheating? That's hardcore cheapshot. I wouldn't be surprised if they cut out the part where David kicks Goliath in the nuts. It's like going into a boxing arena with barbed wire on your gloves. And the moral of this story is, people who pray to God are good and everyone else is bad.

I'd like to read the Philistine's bible (Goliath was a Philistine). Just to get a non-bias view of things. "And so Goliath pulled out his sword ready to face David in hand to hand combat. The sinister David, who was 20 feet tall, began spitting flaming rocks from his mouth. One struck down the noble Goliath. But Goliath will live on in our hearts forever because he died holding his sword. An honorable death... A hero's death."

Man all the wars and prejudice you can instigate with an almost non-existant knowledge of the bible... So this is just a warning. In the near future someone will use the bible to sway your weak mind. Remember, Jesus loves Harry Potter and Goliath... and... Gollum... why not?