This weekend was my training weekend in TO. I applied to be an Mcat teacher and this weekend was when they would show me all the secrets of the trade.
Enter Joe. Friday after the cheesy intro training, I met up with Mr. Greiss who promised a night out on the town and delivered. Despite my insistence that I should be back at the hotel by 1am cuz I had to give a lecture the following morning, I was brought to a club with Joe and friend Kevin. Deep down I guess I knew there was no chance of me getting back by 1. We wandered the streets for a while, ran into THE RUSSELL PETERS when the most ditzy blond I've ever met got us into club DNA for free.
Nice looking place but almost empty... and sausage fest...
Or was it? I guess all DNA needed was three studs to liven up the place. The place was quite dead. Honestly. Almost no one dancing... very few girls. Joe decided it was time we gave this cemetery a break and show off our moves. We get to the dance floor. I'm not exaggerating. We were surrounded by women in minutes. I swear on a stack of bibles. Everywhere we turned. I guess toronto has never seen the likes of me before. Honestly we could have gotten any woman in that club... The three blonds in cowboy hats with shirts that said, "We love (are?) boobies!" Those really hot girls who may have been a touch on the young side. The supermodel-esque woman whom few dared approach. And those that Joe described as "decent looking girls about our age.". All very hot and all smiling and shaking their money makers in our direction. It was awesome, we were stars for the night! But 2am closing time for clubs in TO did not let me express my full creed! I was only getting warmed up. I explained to the women, "In Montreal, the clubs close 1 hour later than here! Back in Mount Real, we call 2am to 3am, Masta's Hour of Power!" But much to the dissapointment of the pleading cowboy chics, I had to go. Next time baby... next time...
Not that the hotel was the most desirable place for entertaining guests at that time. The chubby guy who I was sharing a room with hadn't budged since I left. He was dead asleep and snoring with a book over his face. He had been studying for the lecture we had to give the next day. What's really funny about him is the way he wakes up. As I walked from the door to my bag, he springs up like a jack in the box. It was really funny. He fell back to sleep in like 40 seconds. I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, he sprung up again, a look of terror in his eyes. "Relax dude!"
Anyway. He set his alarm for like 6am. I woke up and he bursts awake and with a groan slams the snooze button on the alarm. He's snoring again in seconds. I'm not so lucky. 5 minutes later it rings again. And again. I was woken up by the alarm at least 4 times!!! I was furious! "Why don't you just set the goddamn alarm for 7:00 and wake up then?!?" We both fell back asleep. Precious sleep.
When I woke up, it was about 8:15am. The alarm didn't go off and guy was fast asleep. "Dude!" I yelled. He popped up and with that fight or flight look to him and then cursed at the clock. We scrambled to get to the office on time.
And so, they gave us some training tips and then we gave our lectures. I was so out of it. I had prepared a pretty decent lecture too... Unfortunately I was too tired to deliver it. "The cell... has to replicate... It's DNA??? DNA... uuuuuuuugh...." I drew messy diagrams on the board and slurred and stuttered like I had just gone on a tequilla bender all night and woken up in a dumpster. I sucked.
That night, I met up with the legendary Pat Kim Chiaw, his gf , Mel, And some of their friends. We ate at the Korean Grill, which I had went to the night before with Joe. It's a place where you get to cook your own meat! I was tooooo happy! They just kept bringing us meat!!! Pork, beef, fish, chicken... An endless flow. Almost comparable to la Milsa with the added bonus that the grill is right there for you to use. Anyway, I stuffed myself, and went to the hotel early to prepare lecture 2.
Entered the hotel room, almost gave the Guy a heart attack. Studied. Woke up the Guy again. Used the bathroom, woke up guy for spite. Went to sleep. Woke the man up another two times, NO JOKE! and went on to give an awesome lecture. I got some props for my good work and then went to meet my Dad and my uncle who were in town that weekend.
Again, I ate like a king, this time at a friend of the family's. The food was so good... I almost cried. And for desert, some awesome cake. It was like... cofee cake, carrot cake, with chocolate and cream cheese icing... It was the jokes.
5 hour ride home... weekend's over... back to work!
Anyway, mad props to Joe and Pat and all the toronto honeyz for showing me such a good time in TO!
No comments:
Post a Comment