Monday, February 07, 2005

Resistance is Futile!

Well, I thought i was invincible. Anyone who's spent time around me while they were sick has heard my boasting. I believed my immune system had become too powerful to allow any disease to breach the bastion of strength and the virility that was my body. I would have gladly french-kissed a gangrenous leper to prove it too! "Are you sick? What a sissy! I haven't been sick in years! You know what that comes from? A strong immune system! I don't wash my hands every two seconds. I let my immune system cope with what is thrown at it so it can adapt. Much like the Borg from Star Trek adapt to different phaser frequencies." When I was feeling particularly grandiose I would even throw in a comment about how I was hit by a car and not hurt. I thought I was... Superman.

Now with my raspy throat and runny nose, I suppose it's impossible to deny that I am somewhat vulnerable. I know what it is too. I had to correct 60 lab reports. I know a few people who were sick... God only knows how many different viruses I was exposed to as I went from one lab report to another. Filthy students...

And this flu, cold... whatever it is.. seems to be getting worse. My throat is better, but I keep sneezing. And I have a really bad headache. I've forgotten the taste of bread and berries... The sound of water... I'm alone in the dark... and behold nothing but a wheel of fire!!! I can see it with my waking eyes!!!!

Hopefully it will pass soon, and I will infect as few people as possible. To everyone who I watched the super bowl with... Sorry in advance.

Speaking of the super bowl. What's the deal with going from Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake to Paul McArtney? The guy is too old... That's final. Did everyone here him bellowing, "THANK YOU SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!" ? I think he's getting a little senile.

Big whoop! We saw Janet's 40 year old teat. Are you going to punish the world for ever now? Who'll be performing next year? The Pope???

You can't just play it safe all the time. Sure, I could avoid sick people to avoid getting sick... And we could try and hide the children of the world from explicit sexual material. But resistance is futile! The germs will get you eventually and sooner or later, everyone gets to see a woman's breast! Even Engineers!

Thank you Super Bowl. Thank you for helping me come to terms with my illness....

ps. If you think the Borg are super cool and awesome then go here...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hmm - that Immune Rant. It sounds like my boy Carlin!!
-Baz