I have been contemplating moving out. There are a few reasons. Least of which is not the kind of beverages I find in the fridge. Our family has honored a long tradition of making juices from concentrate. Which is cool.. when it's actually juice from concentrate.
I'm tired of passion fruit in every goddamn drink on the market. What is passion fruit anyway? Then they try to jazz up the names of things that they can no longer call juice cuz they've added too much sugar. What the hell is Berry Infusion? Pink Lemonade Euphoria? Tangerine Wavelength? Please note this site claims one of the ingredients is made from the body of a dried insect. YUM!
Recently I've found something in my fridge. I smelled it... poured myself a glass and just asked God, "What the hell is this?" It was kind of purple... maybe? so I guess that rules out any kind of citrus designation. Usually when it comes to beverages, colors with higher wavelengths indicate some sort of berry. But it certainly wasn't a strawberry drink... Or a blueberry drink. Or cranberry. I would only hope they wouldn't dishonor the magnificent grape by making that gross a drink out of it.
Honestly, I don't think this was any kind of juice. If I had to name the drink I would call it High Frequency Urine Infusion from concentrate. It is one of the most vile drinks I've ever had. Mom, if you're reading this... It's called apple juice! Buy some!
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