So Halo 2 is out. I love that game very much... When I'm not playing, I'm talking about playing, or thinking about playing. Moments ago I was online checking my stats!! They keep track of all of it online! Not only was I checking my stats! I was showing people my stats! Some of them were women!
Me: "Hey Baby... I came in 3rd place last night in a Halo Rumble Pit match."
Hot girl: "Get away from me you loser!"
Me: "Obviously you're a Lesbian... I'm not a loser."
It's funny that girls seem incapable of understanding the joys of Halo. It's interesting to see the look of complete indifference when I describe how Droopy and Icemann Pwns U and I planted a bomb in the enemy base! It's funny to watch their brows furrow in confusion when I explain how Icemann Pwns U is a guy's name and why it's hilarious.
Here's a sad story. I was invited to a bar this Friday, and I spurned that invitation to play Halo. Let's examine why. Living on the south shore, going to a bar involves taking the bus in the cold. Then arriving at the specified venue and being charming. Playing Halo involves staying home and being as rude as I damn well please. I enjoy calling my friends punk ass bitches and then shooting them. That's the gift of Halo.
Mandatory Sister's BF complaint
So the dude comes over and asks to play Halo. He logs onto my account, plays for a few hours, and lowers my score!!! I just checked online. He came in 8th out 8 players in 4 games... 9th place in another... He sucks hard! And now his suckiness is online permanently for all to see! Under my name!!!
You know, it occured to me that when two people are dating, the expression used is "Those 2 people are going out." This is what I want for these two. I want them to go out. I want them to get out! Get out of the house! 11am on a Sunday is MastaCSG time. I dont want to put effort into not being hostile. It's sunday... A day for me to be obnoxious to my family. Not a day to bite my tongue while guests are over. Havign company means I have to get dressed before 1pm, maybe... wash up... It's ridiculous. On a sunday? Bloody hell!
Sister's BF: "Wow... I came in 8th place again!!! Oh well... The point is, I'm having fun."
Me: "Hey! Here's 20 bucks... Maybe you should take my sister to a movie or something. What kind of movies do white people like?? Is Spanglish out yet? You'd love it. It's about time Adam Sandler and Salma Hayek were in a movie together."
Sister's BF: "Actually Adam Sandler and Tea Leon-"
Me: "-Stop... I don't give a flying....... Now I want you, to go out with my sister. Go out! NOW!"
No comments:
Post a Comment