No news is good news

It's that time of year again. Time for the I hate TV rant.

Oh man I hate tv... Dang old reality tv... I wish there was at least a funny sitcom to watch. With the exception of Scrubs, I can't even watch tv anymore.

Even the news. I often feel bad when people are talking about current events and I come off as the one who is totally ignorant of what's going on in the world. Usually I miss the news because I get home late or opt to watch Spongebob on YTV instead. But every now and then, the shame of knowing nothing pwns me and I decide to watch the news.

I hate it. Especially the medical report. "A study from Sweden shows that milk increases the risk of ovarian cancer! And a study from England shows that Pomegranate juice decreases the risk of...." I can't remember. Alzheimers? Whatever... Ridiculous statements like that do more harm than good. What am I supposed to do? Stop drinking milk? I don't want my ovaries to become malignant tumors but I don't want my bones to become brittle either? And I'm not Swedish... does it apply? None of this is taken into consideration. You just get one half truth, blurted out by some ignoramous. And I don't recall ever seeing pomegranate juice available in the grocery stores.

I also hate idiotic polls they have on the news. "50% of people on our poll agree that the government has the right to change the definition of the word "marriage"." Followed of course by a disclaimer, usually Bill Haughland saying, "This poll isn't considered scientific." ie... "This poll means nothing...Just... nothing at all.. Pay no attention to it... These numbers are useless to you and to everyone." And that's just Canadian news... All the ignorance of American news, without the exciting Shock value. What would americans be afraid of if there wasn't some idiot with a hidden camera revealing the jerk at McDonalds scratching his nuts before making a Big Mac? "What you don't know about you Big Mac!!!!!!" :-o

Access Hollywood proved mildly entertaining... Or did it?

No...

Do I care that Britney Spears got married? No... Do I care that Julia Roberts has twins, Tiger woods getting married... George Clooney hurt his neck? No... No.. NO!!!! If I was to host one of those shows I think I would loathe myself... Like those tortured assassins in movies who hold the gun to their head and fight against all instincts to pull the trigger. Can you picture Nancy Odell sitting alone in the dark, playing Russian Roulette thinking, "If the gun goes off and I die... I deserve to die anyway... Because my existence on this planet is superfluous. Today, my biggest accomplishment was telling people that Britney Spears may have gotten a breast job... If this gun goes off, it's because God wants it to go off."

*clic*

"Oh well, looks like I live to tell people about Dave Coulier's daughter losing her pet gecko..."

Damn tv... I can't wait for Futureshop to deliver Return of the King to my doorstep. I think the whole world should be organized like Futureshop. I say, all the countries should merge into one, and be managed by Futureshop. You go online and they deliver whatever entertainment you need... And food I guess...

I don't know how that relates to hating television but... I say less news and more Futureshop purchases!