CGI = Computer Generated Idiocy

I thought this interview with Steve Carell was brilliant. The interviewer is asking him about his role in the CGI kids movie, Over the Hedge. So simple. He really know how to commit to a stupid rant. I really laughed.

http://Video.sympatico.msn.com/v/en-ca/v.htm?g=e7f4b29a-f194-4869-b814-162fce0aa970&f=rssimbot_en-ca&fg=copy

What is not brilliant is Hollywood's obsession with these CGI movies. I mean, Over the Hedge is a cartoon about furry little animals doing stuff. This is like the 4th movie in a year to feature animals doing stuff. Madagascar, The Wild, this cheesiness. Enough already! But what's even more frustrating is the people they choose to voice the characters in these movies. I mean, it's a kids movie and they have Bruce Willis as the main voice? Bruce Willis as some kind of racoon? Bruce Willis has starred in more R-rated movies than anything else, I don't think kids give a damn. And I'm sure he doesn't really do a great job, he's not a voice actor and his voice isn't particularly remarkable. He's just some guy. William Shatner? Most kids probably don't know anything about captain Kirk. It's offensive.

Are 8 year old kids in the sandbox discussing the voice actors in this movie?

Lil Jimmy: Hey are you going to see Over the Hedge, guy?
Lil Marc: I don't know... Who's in it?
Lil Jimmy: Bruce Willis, Steve Carell...
Lil Marc: Who's Steve Carell?
Lil Jimmy: He was in 40 Year Old Virgin.
Lil Marc: What's a virgin?
Lil Jimmy: I think I just pooped in my pants...

I hope they're not trying to appeal to me by featuring all these actors. I say, if you're going to do an animated movie get voice actors from cartoons. All the voice actors in Futurama, the Simpsons can do incredible things with their voice (notice family guy voice actors aren't so versatile?). But these are funny people with funny voices.

I was talking to Real Dave last week and he made a very interesting point. While discussing this overkill of movies featuring roadkill, he said something I agreed with 100%. With all the resources they use to make these CGI movies, why don't they make some awesome action movies?? Like the Japanese Final Fantasy movie (not the american one with Ming Na, that sucked). But they could really make some incredible CGI action movies. They made a 5 minute CGI film for the Animatrix. Make it a full length picture with lots of action. If I imagine myself as a movie producer, I realize we have this technology the first thing that comes to mind is... Action??? Violence??? James Earl Jones as a dragon? Lawrence Fishburne as an evil wizard?? Cool voices behind cool characters. I wish I knew why a movie producer is commiting millions of dollars to make movies about squirrels, bugs, talking cars...That's an outrage!!! Hook me up with some action! Instead of fuzzy f**king animals 3 times a year.

I think kids movies are really going in a bad place. I think the era of kids movies was dominated by Robin Williams. He was in everything back in the day. I mean, I would go and see Hook, and think I'm seeing a big boy movie cuz it was live action. Then he does Aladdin, I recognize his voice, and I'd feel like a big boy cuz Robin Williams was in a live action movie too. Furthermore, Robin Wiliams did all sorts of brilliant things with his voice. He could impersonate anyone and he was funny. Bruce effing Willis??? Eff that... Just because something has syrop on it doesn't make it pancakes... Just because a movie is CGI, doesn't mean it's good.

Of course Wanda Sykes says Over the Hedge is the greatest movie ever made. Maybe I'll go see it.