Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Big Picture

I was on my way to have delicious sushi with a friend. We were debating between going to Kanda or this other place, Katsura. We settled on Katsura which was delicious. Good times! Among things that were said that night were

1) Sea Urchin??? Who would eat that??
2) I used to take classes with Karine. The girl who's dating Simon? Yeah, I used to call her Julie all the time.
3) Well, I'm glad we didn't go to Kanda for all you can eat Sushi. I wouldn't have been able to finish and that would have been humiliating.

That wasn't the odd part. The odd part was the next day my coworker says, "I went to Kanda last night. A word to the wise, don't try Sea Urchin! Incidentally I bumped into Simon and Karine. AWKWARD!"

Everyone decided to have Sushi that night? It's almost as if someone were directing a movie. While I was trying to figure out what kind of freak would eat sea urchin, my fool coworker was scarfing it down in a restaurant not more than 4 minutes away.

Me, looking at a menu with pompous self-satisfaction: "Sea Urchin??? What happened? Did the restaurant run out of donkey rectum??"

Cut to my coworker at the restaurant with his mouth full: "MMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! Scrumptious Sea Urchin!!! Just like mom used to make!!!"

Just another page in the script of life. I was shocked the other day helping Jbo and Marie-Eve move into their new crib (BTW congrats you two!) And Justin got a phone call. I asked him, "Who was that?"

Jbo: "That was Rez and Vrej."
Me: "Where are they?"
Jbo: "They're trying out for a senior baseball team on the West Island."

SENIOR Baseball team? It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer joins the Karate class to beat up little kids. That just struck me as one of the most random answer I could have gotten. Tell me it doesn't sound like a team of writers sat down for hours going through a list of the funniest possible answers to my mundane question. What zany scheme are Rez and Vrej up to this week?

Me: "Where are they?"
Jbo: "Rez and Vrej are talking to their financial adviser about opening a business that sells Emus as a mode of transportation for little people."

or

Me: "Where are they?"
Jbo: "They're buying a pig... Next week they're going truffle hunting and they need a pig to sniff out the delicious truffles!"

or

Me: "Where are they?"
Jbo: "They're in court. Last week they were riding an emu and they hit Bill Haugland."

I had another funny talk with a friend the other day. She was on MSN and was listening to informer by Snow.

Me: "Your MSN name says you were listening to Informer by Snow."
My Friend: "Yeah... It's a good song... I used to date Snow's cousin."

Snow has a cousin? She then went on to explain how she used to see him hanging around with super ghetto people. Anyway, seemed like the setup for a TV show. And then later on everything would all come together.

Jbo hangs up his cell phone
Me: "Who was that?"
Jbo: "That was Vrej and Rez. Their Emu attacked Snow and now they're involved in some kind of gang war. The Emu got shot, but not before giving Snow's bling handler a solid kick to the chest."
Me: "Could they just pay them off with their truffle money?"
Jbo: "No... Bill Haugland ate their pig to get back at them... And all of their truffles."
Me: "Well ain't that some s**t!"

Isolated I suppose these little random events don't seem particularly funny or striking, but I can imagine some omnipotent being, a "God" if you will, looking at all these things at once and marveling at his own brilliance. "Tomorrow I'll give Marie-Eve a larger role. Can anyone say, long lost twin???"

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