Monday, April 03, 2006

Crypto-post

On one of my usual saunters through blogdom, the type that takes place when I have far more productive things to do, I came across a very interesting post. A friend of mine has a blog and it so happens this person is into something called Yaoi. What's Yaoi you might ask? Well, if you're like me you don't want to know, but I'll tell you anyway! Yaoi is essentially a japanese word for gay anime porn. Some would argue that it's not "porn" per se but that's neither here nor there.

What's interesting is that this media has a fan base. A cult if you will. And like every cult, they have their own language and more often than not, if I go to her site, I don't even know what they're talking about. Generally speaking I can get to the point where I understand they're talking about a book or a movie. Then everything is just a blur.

The point of this story is I came across a very peculiar word. The post said something like, such and such a book is good and there's "crypto-gay" in it. I laughed my ass off. For some reason I find that word very funny. Now from what I can gather, when "yaoi" fangirls read something with "crypto-gay" they're pleased. Cuz it's gay and that's what it's really all about.

The kicker is, when I wrote a message asking what cryto-gay was, not only did I not receive an answer, but my friend deleted my message, as if saying crypto-gay in vain was some kind of sin. So, to my yaoi loving friends (My friend who used the word on her site or Droopy now's your chance to come out) if you do know what crypto-gay is, please tell me. I won't judge. I will not however type in a google search to find out what it is for fear that I will get Amish levels of vile pornography on my screen. Now I can only speculate as to what it refers to exactly. It must be pretty harsh if it was improper for me to even ask!

Crypto-gay - The act of having carnal relations with ostriches.

or

Crypto-gay - The act of pleasuring yourself while your dizz is cryogenically frozen.

or

Crypto-gay - Pornography featuring conjoint twins with three breasts in various lewd acts with all kinds of marsupials that are still lactating then they #@%@#$@ right up the @#@#**^%$^$ until it falls off and the resulting secretions create an adhesive that has a taste reminiscent of maple syrup.

My grandmother used to say every folly is a fashion. She was referring to clothing but I think the same thing applies to hobbies. Almost any random association of words has a cult following these days. Mo's site has those guys who come together to make love to little boys. Necrophilliacs have a group. Where does it end? MWLR (Men Who Love Robots). TSA (Turtle sodomizers anonymous). In that light I suppose Yaoi seems tame. But who am I to judge right? Everyone should like what they gotta like! Gay things, people having sex with squids while basting themselves in yoghurt! Whatever.... It's 2006, baby! If I can't keep an open mind in this day and age...

Meanwhilst, I will add the word cryto in front of everything cuz that's how I roll. Today I called Simon a crypto-sexual, several times. Perhaps at some point I'll say Jon's a crypto-maniac. Crypto-gay! Can you believe it?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If I were to hazard a guess, keeping that type of anime in mind, I would say that Crypto-Gay would be - Gay, but not flaming.

Male characters that women would find attractive, but not in any situations where their sex appeal would be threatened by the fact that they're gay. Kind of like Porn-Lesbians - actually, exactly like Porn-Lesbians. You know they're gay, but you still want to sleep with them.