Old School

So a few days ago it came to my attention that Kardinal Offishal was going to be giving a concert at the Hive, basically a crummy hall at the Loyola Campus of Concordia. I thought he was a pretty well known rapper and the tickets were free. So I decided to go and ask a few people if they were up for it. I got responses like: "Who is Kardinal Offishal? What does he sing?" To which I would reply with a blank stare, "I'm sure you know songs by him... ummm... Money Jane? Everyday Rudebwoy?" Those were pretty much the only songs I could think of by him.

So tonight was the concert and the doors were supposed to open at 10 but they kept us waiting out in the cold until about 10:30. I was pretty irate, "Could someone please tell Kardinal Offishal some of us have work in the morning??"

They frisked us and stuff. My first thought was, "They really fixed up the hive." It looked presentable and was bigger than a lot of lounges I'd been to. My second thought was, "Why does every white person who comes through the door feel obliged to do some crazy dance move."

One white guy walked through the door and went, "OOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!" No one turned around. He skulked off in shame. Then a white girl came in and flailed her arms in a most embarassing manner that I suppose was supposed to pass for dancing. I glowered at her. She looked back at me and scurried away. I was proud of that.

11pm rolled by..... I started feeling like an old man as often happens when I'm out past my bedtime. I thought of the quizzes I needed to correct, work I needed to do in the lab. And I was losing my voice to the point where it was completely impossible to communicate. I asked my friends if it would be unacceptable to buy a girlie drink. "I feel like an amaretto sour." They said that would be embarassing so I settled for a rhum and coke. By 12:30am I felt like Kardinal Offishal was Offishally late...

I also started feeling old when I realized I didn't recognize a lot of the songs, until they played some Al Greene, which seemed quite out of place. But I was pleased.

Finally at 1am someone busts out and starts rapping. I didn't even realize it was Kardinal Offishal even after a few bars of ... errr... fresh beats? He promptly sang Money Jane and Everyday Rudebwoy, getting that out of the way as early as possible. Then he went into cheesy showman banter. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was just going through the motions of being a rapper and wasn't really feeling what he was saying, "Where my ladies at? Where my dawgs at?? Canada is good! Bush is a pussy! Throw your guns in the air! etc..."

I thought to myself what an ironic punishment it must be to be forced to live out most of your life as if it was a party, feigning enthusiasm until the wee hours of the morning, blurting out every MTV cliche that comes to mind at a given moment to a crowd so mentally crippled by substance abuse they're barely aware of who's on stage.

Kardinal Offishal: "How many of you have never been to a Kardinal show?"

*everyone raises their hand*

Kardinal Offishal: "How many of you have already been to a Kardinal show?"

*everyone raises their hand*

Kardinal Offishal: "So the set of people who have been to my concerts is the same set of people who have never been to my concert before?"

White girl: "Sorry Mr Offishal! We don't speak Black!"

Whatever... I'm getting to old for this. But I did enjoy the music. Good show I say. I will repay Kardinal for his free concert by stealing his album in the near future. He's a very talented young man.