Monday, August 08, 2005

Now witness the firepower of this fully swinging and shagadellic sanctuary!!!

So I've mastered buying groceries, doing laundry and bumming food off of my dad. The final step of living alone... Entertaining guests.

Thursday was the first Poker game hosted at Casa da Masta, as my apartment will be henceforth referred to. Janine brought some awesome cookies, thank you. Others brought food and alcohol. I am greatful to you ... my people...

The actual poker didn't take so long as I lost very early. One of my evil friends won game after game by getting the perfect card on the river! She's the devil. Other people who lost early drowned their sorrows in alcohol. Not just any alcohol, but filthy ass wine which they poured out of a goddamn bag into my obi-wan/general grievous cup. The thing held about a liter of liquid and between two of them I think they had 2+ liters of wine. They then proceeded to mix the filth wine with a generic 7up called, Choose Up. We called the vile concoction Star Wars juice. It was pretty nasty. Like... the opposite of ambrossia. Anyway, one of them spent the evening drunk and ill on the floor of my bathroom. I feel conflicted about that... I mean, I felt bad that she spent the evening on the dirty bathroom floor, but I feel like I threw an awesome gathering to get someone that drunk. Anyway, cudos to all who showed up. It was great.

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Saturday, alpha posse came over for Jbo's bday. Happy bday Justin. Thanks for the bowls Vrej. Now I can serve chips in them, instead of out of the bag. And Mad propz to Dave who brought over a bucket of KFC. He brought it based on the racist assumption that all black people love fried chicken. I was offended and secretely elated that Dave knew black people so well. Damn straight I love fried chicken. So if wearing a pimp hat and eating fried chicken makes me a stereotype black guy, Then BLACK ME UP WOMAN!!! Fried chicken is like... sweet, sweet ambrossia.
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Mad props to Marie Eve who brought cake for Jbo's birthday and then tried to chop his head off. Excellent cook... brilliant assassin. Propz.
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Vrej loved my apartment so much, he tried making sweet love to it, hoping to empregnate it, giving birth to little baby apartments.
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The oddest part of the evening was playing this Karaoke game that Vrej brought over. You sing into a mic and it measures the pitch of your voice and rates how well you sing the song. Then you get a rating, either good, gold or platinum. In a disturbing turn of events I got Platinum for singing Britney Spears' Toxic and Norah Jones' Don't know why I didn't come. That's both gay and white! I'm going to have both my dizz and my blackness revoked... Like Michael Jackson.

Justin sang a rendition of Broken Wings that would quite simply peel the enamel off your teeth. Mend these broken wings??? Mend my broken ears!!! Mo also needs work.
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Marie eve got platinum for any song she sung. Incredible. Kenny was pretty sick too, though I don't think I would buy his album... If he did release a single that is.
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But the biggest surprise was Vrej, a man I've known for what... 15-16 years? He sings like one of the dude's from Nsync. Not justin timberlake... Maybe the guy who does drugs. What's his name again? Larry... Sync? Anyway, Vrej singing well was shocking.
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Anyway, let's hope that Casa Da Masta becomes THE new place to hang out. It's great having various peeps over, and not just because they bring food and alcohol. Remember, when you're at Masta's place, don't make yourself comfortable... Make yourself, DAVE Comfortable!!!
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... and bring food.

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