So, the obvious question, and the one I was asked most frequently is, Why? Why would a black guy, who can't speak Chinese, go to China alone??? I don't really have a good answer, resulting in many people speculating that I was up to no good. People concluded that I would either come back with a wife, or a disease. I have returned with neither. Or both!!! You can decide after the most epic event in blog history hits your modems!!!! Masta in China is a multi part blog experience that will change the way you look at Blogs forever!!!
The trip starts off in the air port. The trip there included stops to Chicago, Tokyo and finally my destination in Beijing. The flight to Chicago was uneventful. I chat it up with the girl next to me a little bit.
The flight to Tokyo was a horrific contrast. Instead of sitting next to a cute girl, I was seperated from an obese white guy with a taste for airline food. After eating a bag of crunchy... glossy... nasty stuff, dubiously marked, "delicious food" My stomach wasn't feeling so hot. But the "gentleman" next to me proceeded to turn the "delicious food" into methane gas. I can only conclude he was turning it into methane because his farts were not human. They definately smelled like bovine farts and I had 13 hours to contemplate this. "This is not a man... This is a cow-creature,"I told the stewardess. I thought I should kill him... Just stab him Gangsta- like to stop the mad air pollution. Don't judge me!!! 13 hours with that smell and you would at least consider murder!!! What would the stewardesses say?
Stewardess: "Why you stab american cow man?"
Me: "He was farting near me during my vacation."
Stewardess giggles uncontrolably! "Fart!!! That's an american word!!!"
And that pretty much sets the tone for most of my trip. Gross bodily functions, me complaining about said bodily functions, and subsequent feminine giggling and embarassment. There's other stuff... Beautiful scenery I saw, hilarious people I met... Contaminated food that I ate... All will be recounted to you.
As of now, the best pictures are on a cd which my computer can't read... I'm trying to solve the problem that I may bestow the gift of gorgeous photographs, to you, Black Logaphiles...
For the next few weeks, maybe months, I will recount to you China as you have never seen it before; through the eyes of a black man!! Join me on my journey!!! You'll meet who I meet, haggle who I haggle, eat who I eat!!! Stay tuned!!!
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