Friday, June 27, 2014

Why the Transformers Movies Make Me Angry

What makes me angry is that Optimus Prime is such a memorable character that years ago, when one of our friends took another friend's Optimus Prime toy and made him stick up the middle finger, we all immediately said, "That's not right, he would NEVER do that. Optimus Prime is an honorable gentleman."

Then along comes Michael Bay and makes Optimus Prime some kind of degenerate psychopath. It makes me angry that the movies are based on a beloved cartoon made to sell toys to children, and that the cartoons are still far more intelligent than the movies. It makes me angry that these movies are so long. Why? Because longer movies can't be shown as many times in a day and therefore make less money. Which means that Michael Bay doesn't make the movies long for some financial reasons, he makes them long for... dare I suggest artistic reason?  Because he thinks we want to watch 3 hours of this???

A scene from Transformers 3.  What the hell are we looking at here???

It makes me angry that they try to be funny but they're not. It makes me angry that there are so many good movies, action movies even, that are soooo much better that no one bothers with.  It makes me angry that Transformer movies are racist, sexist, jingoist and stupid. But most of all, it makes me angry that the stories are so incoherent that you can only conclude that no one involved cares at all!!! And after all that, they still make billions of dollars, which means people actually like them!! So ultimately it makes me angry at the world.

Please stop watching these movies.

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