Sunday, July 15, 2007

Harry Potter and the Order of the Geeks

Man, I'm so excited for this Harry Potter book next week. It's sad really... I have a bad history with these books. Every single one of them has been ruined for me. I always know who dies, before they die. Last week the COVER of the gazette had as a headline, "Is main character X really dead?" How pathetic are we that the ending of the 6th Harry Potter book is front page material for the local newspaper?

Anyway, these books have left us wondering who the unlucky bloke is who will end up getting killed in the conclusion of the series. I'm hoping it's Hagrid. What a jerkstore. For 6 years he's been endangering the idiot kids by exposing them to unnatural, dangerous creatures.

Hagrid: "Hey kids! I found a new creature. It's a radioactive, bladed, fire breathing horse. It emits gamma radiation."
Hermione: "Doesn't that cause cancer?"
Hagrid: "Does it ever!!! But it's so cute!!!"

SLIC'D Takes his head clean off, first chapter. That'll learn him.

There are also theories going around that Neville is the one the prophecy speaks of and that he might bite the bullet when he and voldemort engage in Wizard fisticuffs. I think that would be an interesting twist.

Perhaps neither harry nor Neville will die. I think a great twist would be to see a noble sacrifice by Snape. Harry becomes defence against the dark arts teacher at long last and survives for a semester, breaking the bad luck that has come with the position for so many years.

Then there's so many other seeds that she's planted. What's going on with the Giants? The Centaurs? The House Elves? What will happen to the dementors? Are the beloved characters that we lost in previous books really dead?? Is Snape Harry's father??? Hermione Harry's sister??? Cedric Diggory is actually Cedric the entertainer??? So many possibilities. Next week I will find out.. and hopefully none of you jerks will ruin the ending for me.

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