As you mostly know I moved into my own place in Cote St Luc. It's interesting being in a new "hood". I've lived in Brossard almost all my life. Sometimes I guess I took it for granted that other places might be different.
For starters there are many, many old people here. And they look old. Not just like, 60 or 70. These people must be a few hundred years old. And perhaps a little big out of it. I saw one old lady on the bus. She looked like granny from those Sylvester and Tweety cartoons and had such a placid smile on her face. She was wearing a scarf around her head as sweet old ladies usually do. But when I looked closely I saw there were bright green marijuana leaves all over it. I'm pretty sure she didn't know. Should I have told her? Or maybe she just loves reefer!
The crossing guard on the corner of Guelph and Westminster is simultaneously the most sinister and the most useless person on the face of the earth. He wears badass shades and of course he smokes on the job. I've rarely seen him help a child cross the road, though if he's not busy talking to adults on their way to work, he'll lift his stop sign in a lackadaisical fashion. One time he did make an effort. He was tying his shoe and saw little girl about to cross. He finished lacing up but the girl, resilient thing that she was, found her way to the other side of the street on her own. He shrugged and proceeded to "holla" at a woman on her way to work. Better luck next time evil crossing guard, dude! A while ago he did something I will never forget. There were two kids at the stop light, waiting patiently for him to come to their rescue. The crossing guard yells, "Just cross!! You're already late!" I was pretty horrified.
Another strange thing I see around here. Cops on bicycles. What exactly is a cop on a bicycle supposed to do? I usually see them early in the morning and one of them usually looks pretty bitter. There's a brown guy who often has a clueless smile on his face and a white guy who generally looks angry. I can imagine their story. They were probably demoted for unnecessary brutality and now have to ride the beat on bicycles. I saw one of the guys bothering some woman. I don't know if he was giving her a ticket for jaywalking or something but the look on her face clearly said, "I can't believe I got busted by the bicycle cop!"
I'd like to see a m0vie about these guys where all the elements of Cote St. Luc come together. I'd call it SWATAB (Special Weapons And Tactics... And Bicycles...)
Neil: "Oh, what a beautiful day to be riding our bicycles."
Phil: "F**k that! I say today we take it up a notch. I got some illegal weapons off of the crossing guard down the street. Armour piercing, nuclear s**t... SICK GUY! We're bound to get a promotion if we pop a few of these into some jaywalkers."
Neil: "Phil, this is why we got demoted in the first place! You can't just go around harassing innocent people with illegal weapons and expect to get away with this!"
Phil: "That's just my style of law enforcement, baby!"
Neil: "I understand that... But you should realize in some circumstances a little tact and finesse is called for, not armour piercing bullets. Sometimes less is more.
Phil: "Less is more? That talk is for ballerina's and sunday school teachers... When you're a bicycle cop on the beat, MORE IS MORE MOTHA F**KA!!!" *hoists a large assault rifle with a scope onto his shoulder*
Neil: "I'm getting too old for this s**t!"
Phil: "There's an old lady over there with marijuana leaves on her bandanna. I'm taking her down! Cover my ass!!!" *rides off on his bike. Neil pulls out a shotgun*
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